For Love of Police and Hitchcock…

imagesDear Jen,

My childhood would have been an amazing bore had you not been there. It takes a special person to work a job and then spend all that money making sure her brother and sister had fun. You worked hard to graduate with honors, you worked two jobs, and were involved in school activities, how did you do it all? All the while making time for us.  You are generous in ways that most people will never understand. I love all the stories of when you worked at “Good Burger”. The double dunked salty fries, the fly burger, but my favorite was always the unsold cookie that you would bring home for me at the end of your shift.

We would always babysit Shannon and Abby together. Thanks to you, Brian and I were never stuck at home. When Uncle Jack and Aunt Mary were out we would put the girls to bed and then settle in on their couch to watch a movie. These were the days of Beta and VHS video tapes. I remember thinking Mary and Jack were so much cooler because they had a VHS verses our janky Beta player. The closest “video rental” was in the living room of a house. Literally.  We should have been more frightened than we were but those are the quirks of a small town.

One night we watched the movie Psycho. It was a dark overcast night and no stars were out and their house was in the middle of a deserted field. The light drizzle along with the chill in the air set the stage for my panic attack. You letting me watch a scary movie was cool until I realized that someone could jump out from behind the shower curtain and stab me to death.  I remember holding my pee so long, thinking I would rather burst than risk being bludgeoned while sitting on the toilet.

I hardly slept that night because when I did I would dream we had a dead person in our attic giving you commands. “Jenifer, play that song for your sister until she cries”. The next day as we drove to the park this song came on and I started to hyperventilate.

“Oh mother dear please listen
And don’t devour me
Oh mother dear please listen
Don’t devour me
Oh women please have mercy
Let this poor boy be
Oh mother dear please listen
And don’t devour me”

Thanks to Hitchcock and The Police for making me think my sister was going to kill me.

After a good long laugh you drove us through the drive thru. Amazingly enough the Tom Selleck look-a-like still works at 3rd base drive thru but now he looks a lot less like Tom and more like Nick Nolte with dark hair. Scary! At this point for all of you non-Buckeyes let me explain what a drive thru is. A drive thru is usually a cinder block building with two large garage doors on opposite ends. Not only is it a drive thru liquor store it also doubles as a small grocery store. Some even have a bike lane so you can bike through to get your beer and snacks. They should really call that the DUI lane. Indiana is simply missing out on these blissful stores. MADD may think otherwise.

This is just the first in a long line of memories I have of you Jen. Thanks for tormenting me with The Police and then plying me with guilt-offering candy. My dentist also thanks you!



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